It’s happened to all of us.
Abuses, injustices, offenses, treachery. Wounds we didn’t deserve. People – sometimes those closest to us – who don’t care to make it right.
What do you do, when your offenders have hurt, misused, and betrayed you? Acted in ways that no decent human should act. Trespassed boundaries, destroyed trust, taken away your rights, and thrown your happiness over the cliff?
Most of us would like to see justice done. We want reparation, and restoration of our peace. We want to see the wrong made right, the adversary acknowledge their wrong, see the immensity of their crime, and make amends.
Very sadly, this kind of healing does not always happen. We are often left alone with the heavy burden of pain, grief, even rage, and no answer or relief appears in sight.
What do you do when the offender has no desire to change?
Sure, we can feel re-victimized, experience grief, get very frustrated or angry, and feel spiteful against them. Don’t they deserve it, after all?
Have you ever noticed the result of such an attitude? In my experience, my posture of anger has never yielded the results I wanted.
I have come to see though, that when I choose a higher way, when I decide to respond with healthier behavior than what they have demonstrated, it often seems to baffle them.
Sometimes changing yourself is the best vengeance you can get.
They don’t know what to do when someone chooses to not play the “React and Get Offended” game. They have little idea of how to adjust to someone who treats them with undeserved mercy and a good example of maturity.
And guess what?
THIS is where I have seen the greatest results. I have seen my offenders change their ways, become friends instead of enemies, or sometimes, give up and move on, because I won’t accept the victim role any more.
I have also learned to question my own motives for revenge. What did I want to achieve by getting back at them? More pain, suffering, humiliation? Did I really want them to learn and grow past their destructive ways, into healthier behaviors, or just suffer for the damage they did to me?
In this searching, I have come to realize yet another truth. Vengeance is God’s right and domain. I cannot have the infinite knowledge to know why another person may decide not to change, or may choose to act in the destructive way they do. But God has chosen to offer redemption to them – and to me too – when we least deserved it. So, I have to let them go from my “You Owe Me” file, and let God take care of them.
I have higher things to do, and so do you. . God has called us to greater things, and we need to expend more time in finding out what those things are, and put our passion and energy into developing those destinies. They will bring far greater happiness and growth, than getting bogged down thinking about, and anticipating ‘payback’. Is this an easy process? No, but it’s a valuable one!
Don’t let your past woundings and offenses sabotage you from your greatest hopes, dreams and destinies being fulfilled.
Let go of yesterday, pray for those enemies, reconcile wherever possible, plan for a successful tomorrow, and choose to live joyfully today! Invest your energy into building your own dreams and destiny, and stop wasting precious time and resources in thinking negatively of those people, who -incidentally – gain no benefit from it. Prayer will yield a far better chance for both of you to recover.
Dedicate your energy into redemption, which is making good things come out of evil circumstances. Recognise who the real enemy is here – the one who wants to destroy every person and every potential. Knowing that the enemy would ruin you, God has provided for your release from the bondage of a painful past.
However, we can’y deny the situations that have occurred. None of us can minimize the pain and agony of some of these wounds. We certainly must acknowledge them, grieve, deal with them and heal. However, with surety, we then work onward towards our recovery and revival. Knowing that God has deeply concerned Himself with our restoration, enables us – if we want it – to give the unbearable weight of these woundings to Him.
Go free and forward into your own destiny and drop the heavy burdens of heartache, offenses and grudges behind you!
To pull this all together, when you pray for your enemies, “disconnect” the freightload of pain dragging you backwards. Let it drop away, then find your calling, and commit to maturing into your own giftings. That is the greatest -and healthiest – form of retaliation known to humankind – to decide you will create good out of evil.
It is also one of the greatest blessings God has offered. And it is free and available, to every one of us !