First, Wipe The Table
How are you feeling these days?
Do you consider yourself happy and satisfied with your life ? Or are you feeling restless, , undirected, unmotivated, un-inspired? Perhaps angry, rejected, lost in the crowd, sad, meaningless? Maybe you are already doing something(s) you thought you wanted, and yet, it’s still not enough.
Feeling some or all of the above? It’s an unsettled feeling – some good days and many bad ; you may have no energy, yet, there is frantic chaos inside you; frustrated yet no constructive outlet appears for it. Angst floods you at times, but where do you find that island of serenity?
If life is bliss for you, and things couldn’t get better, I am happy for you! However, if any of the above resonates with you, how do you deal with this place and state? How do you express all the thoughts and longings inside you in a fulfilling, honourable way, where you’ll sit back at the end of the day, and feel deeply satisfied and peaceful?
Let’s explore the ‘Why you might feel this way’ , before we get to the ‘How to get out of it’.
First, there seems to be an epidemic of unsatisfied people just now. These are not always simply the Chronic Malcontents we all know – who are never happy, no matter what they have. These are people like you and me who have a frequent, often driven ‘sensing’ that all is not complete, and we have more to accomplish.
Do you notice any of these occurring in your life?
- a frequent, restless need for change
- plans which do not come to completion
- recognized dissatisfaction, but immediate, viable solutions elude us
- relational challenges or losses – or both
- lifestyle disorganization in some areas ( eg. job, finances, everyday management)
- a longing to do something meaningful, to feel fulfilled and happy, yet frustrated by your seeming inability to do it
- looking for people or things to fill this need
- no concrete plan for future successes
Why do we feel this way?
I have observed that many people have learned to look for their happiness from outside sources. They think this way: “I would be happy if I only had that ___________ (desirable item), if I could just have a relationship with _____________(desirable person). If only I could do _____________ (desirable activity), go to __________ (desirable location), be ___________ (rich, famous)”, etc.
We suppose that all our longings are to be filled by someone or something we do not currently possess. Rarely do we look inside ourselves and ask, “Apart from everyone, and everything I have or do not have, who am I supposed to be, what do I need to change, and how do I get there?”
Barriers pop up immediately, if we even start to entertain this question:
- I’m not good enough
- Someone is already doing that
- I don’t have enough money
- I’m too busy
- I don’t know how
- I don’t have enough support
And having shut down our disturbing restlessness with comfortable excuses, we return to our familiar patterns, until we get dissatisfied again – – and the cycle begins over.
So, I’m going to challenge you with a few questions:
- Do you really want to change, or are you happy to continue on as you’re existing right now?
- Have you listened to the notions that keep coming to your mind? (No, I don’t mean the junk food you want, or the attractive guy/gal, or that new item, or that boredom busting piece of activity you want to stir up, etc.) I mean the repetitive thoughts that keep presenting themselves over and over in your imagination, what you envision yourself doing -the idea of something challenging you could do – and, as you think of it, it piques your interest ; you get excited inside.
- What means more to you, a comfortable, everyday ‘same-ness’, or facing the challenge to become that better someone you’re not today.
- At the end of your life, what will you regret the most if you don’t do it?
Continued In Part Two – What Holds Me Back?